To celebrate Todd’s birthday, I took him to a fabulous dinner at a restaurant that has super tasty gluten free food. Real gluten free. Not just food with the gluten-ful food taken out, i.e. hamburger without a bun. Extra bonus: the menu had gluten free chocolate cake to happily end his birthday meal.
That’s about as far as my plans went. Not wanting to rush home, he suggested a movie. There were only two choices at the Pitt Theatre: Batman vs. Superman or Miracles from Heaven.
We chose Miracles from Heaven. Enjoying each other’s company, we laughed out loud at the previews. We settled in for the feature presentation.
Almost immediately, as the little girl in the movie became gravely ill, we turned to each other in agreement that this true story might hit a little too close to home for us.
As the characters on the screen began to chase a diagnosis for their daughter, so many personal scenes jumped into my mind and emotions bubbled back to the surface from our very own struggle with Chloe’s health.
I could relate to this desperate mother, as she watched her child in pain and languishing, forcefully questioning a doctor who said that everything was normal or that it was only lactose intolerance.
The fear. The anger. The sadness. The grief.
All threatening to swallow up the joy and the hope…and my faith.
Like a toddler, I assumed that when I asked nicely. When I said “please” and “thank you,” surely God would answer my prayers exactly how I wanted.
When His answer wasn’t a resounding “yes,” I acted like a petulant child who didn’t get her own way.
Sometimes God’s answer is “yes.” Sometimes He says “wait,” “not yet,” or “no, not on this side of eternity.”
His desire is for me to come to Him. Fully surrendered. Submitted to His will. Trusting His plan. Seeking His comfort. Resting in His peace.
Chloe is in remission. It’s been nearly two years since those super scary months of tests, hospitalizations and new diagnoses.
How many miracles did I miss while I crossed my arms over my chest, furrowed my brow and stomped my foot at my Heavenly Father?
When my faith was rocked to its core, I wanted to talk to Him. I wanted to trust, but somehow God just didn’t seem so safe anymore. I stepped back when I needed Him most.
The movie, Miracles from Heaven, reached right into my healing heart. Reminding me that my God loves beyond measure and exceeds my understanding.
A miracle itself.
In the midst of sorrow and pain, He is good. He is faithful.
Joy, beauty, each small triumph. All sweet gifts from His tender hand.
Lord, give me eyes to see.
But blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears for they hear…